Procrastination

n.

[L. procrastinatio: cf. F. procrastination.]
The act or habit of procrastinating, or putting off to a future time; delay; dilatoriness.

Procrastination is the thief of time.

Young. 

I am the queen of procrastination! I'm doing it right now even. I'm putting off doing the homework I need to get done before family comes into town tomorrow. Because I won't do it once they get here. I need to get past this..... maybe I can talk myself into it. 

How would that go?

"I'm not doing my homework!"

"Come on! It'll be fun, just get in your PJ's and turn on some music!"

"no"

"But you have to do it before Grandma, and the girls get here!"

"no"

"Do you want to fail your class? You've already missed several summaries, you can't afford any more."

"I don't care!"

"Yes you do.... You like having your good GPA"

"I know...."

"So, just put on the Twilight soundtrack and get it over with"

"OOOOOK"

"Good job!"

See that is what goes on in my head. lol As a friend of mine says, "You don't want to be in my head, it's scary up there!"

I'm going to go do it now, and then I have to clean my bathroom, and bedroom. Oh joy!

The good side of things

I'm trying to think positive through everything that is going on, so here are some good things that are happening.

• I am walking without a cane, walker, or any help after only two weeks of healing from knee surgery!
• Only two months left of school
• I had a really great day Saturday, between hanging out with my mom and a friend
• I am alive
• I had alone time today
• I have a car
• I have family and friends that love me very much
• I'm healthy
• I still have most of my brains 
• I have a roof over my head 
• I'm getting a college education, even though it's stressing me out

Even though some of them may be small things, some people don't have that stuff. So, I choose to recognize them and be thankful. Thank you God, for my many blessings.

Getting stuff off my chest....

First rant....

Why does life have to be so aggravating? And why do I have to be so co-dependent? Do I have a big sign on my forehead or something that draws people to me that want someone to take care of them?!?!? And if so how do I get rid of it? I'm so irritated at myself for being wrapped up in everything so much that I went this long without looking at it. Actually I did but I didn't want to believe what I saw. Now what do I do? God, how do I fix this problem? Actually, can you just do it for me? Can I just focus on the other pile that's about to fall on me? 

Second rant....

I don't want to be in school anymore!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so tired of these meaningless classes that just take up my time. I don't see what they have to do with anything. Why can't they just give us a test to see how well rounded we already are, and if we haven't been in a box our whole life then we can skip these classes. I would so much rather be spending my time on classes that I'm going to need for my job. But I can't just skip these, so probably by the time I get to them I'm going to be so irritated that I won't be able to focus. And then I won't get a job right out of school and I'll end up copying coloring pages for the next 15 years until I've forgotten everything I went to school for. Then finally I'll find a job, and won't get it because I can't even remember what I majored in, or how to spell resources, or Bachelors Degree! 

Ok I think I can sleep now... goodnight. 

Why do I have such a hard time accepting love? It makes me so uncomfortable to accept praise from people, I just want to get it over with or pass it off onto someone else. I don't like attention on me. I don't feel like I'm worth putting time into. Where did this come from?

(Not) Spring Break

Wow this week has flown by! But it has been a good break from all of the craziness. I had surgery on my knee on Tuesday the 10th. It was to repair a tear in my lateral meniscus. The surgery went really well, nothing has hurt very much. God has really stepped in on this whole process. I'm honestly really overwhelmed with how loving and nice everyone is being. I don't really feel like I deserve it. I'm more used to being the one that is taking care of everyone. I've not been a patient before. It really amazed me at how everyone wanted to pray over me at CR. I almost felt like a bigger deal was being made of it than was needed. But I'm so very thankful that everything went so well, so I have to believe that God answered their prayers. I've never heard of a recovery as quick as the one I'm having. 

So, some may not have thought this seemed like that great of a Spring break, but other than having one bad night of pain I've had a great break. I've spent the week reading and relaxing, and spending time with Katelyn. I have started a book that I've been meaning to read since Christmas. And I have spent time with some new friends that I'm really excited about getting to know. 

This may sound weird, but I'm thankful that this surgery was this week. It slowed me down so I could enjoy the things that I have been too busy too enjoy in a long time. I just wish it hadn't flown by.