Back to WKU

Well I just finished my first week at WKU. It was an interesting week with the fact that it snowed, so I only had two days of classes. I have been praying about a job constantly for a month now. I just didn't know what to do about it, because I have a weird school schedule from registering late. So, I applied at WKU for a couple jobs and I heard back from one but somehow we never got connected to set up an interview. I guess I wasn't supposed to have that job. I'm OK with that, I've been praying that God would only open the doors that He wants me to go through; because honestly I have no idea what I am supposed to be doing. Well, Monday while I was trying to rest after my first two classes I had the idea that I could take a couple more classes instead of trying to find a job. So, I went and talked to my mom and she liked the idea. I quickly added two more classes which makes for a total of 6, or 18 hours. I've never taken more than 12 credit hours at a time, so I was a little nervous at first. But, I feel like I'm well equipped. I have an awesome laptop, which has Microsoft word suite on it. And I've already gotten all of my classes put onto a calendar. I feel very organized so far. I think this semester should go smooth. 

Also, there is a job opening here in town for an administrative assistant. And it seems like there would be possibility to move up later on if I wanted to. I'm excited about that, but I'm just trying to go through the doors that seem to open and then continue to pray about it. I feel really peaceful about everything that is going on. I'm happy, which I wasn't while I was in Nashville. I never thought I'd be back at Western this soon, but you never know what God's plan is. It makes me feel better to know that it's not all up to me to make the decisions for my future. Because if it was I'd really screw it up. 

I'm starting a step study on Tuesday. I'm so excited about it!! I know it's not going to be easy, but I feel like I will finally be able to work through some stuff in my life. And who knows maybe I'll come out of it with some really great friends. Mom got me the Life Recovery Bible as a late Christmas present. I love it so far, it's so easy to read. I feel like I finally have an idea of what people are always talking about when they say they can't put it down. I've never had that before. I've always had a hard time getting into the Bible, and being able to understand it. But I find myself reading way past the devotional reading. It's actually reading like stories, and I love that because I always love hearing people talk about the cool things they find in the Bible; but I can never find that for myself. 

I made it to Curves three times this week!! That's two weeks in a row! I'm very proud of myself for that, and I'm really starting to enjoy it again. Other that the fact that my knee hurts sometimes. I really need to go to the doctor about that, but I don't want to waste money if he's just going to tell me something stupid. Especially since it's feeling fine most of the time. But I don't need a long term injury either. I guess it's one thing at a time.  

Happy New Year!!

This is the year, the year that will change all future years that have yet to come. The year that I will turn 23, the Barnes and Noble year in my head. The year that I will officially become an adult(or so I thought when I was little). I just pray that last year's trials will help me to bear the ones to come. I learned a lot about myself this year, but I still have so much to learn. I realized that I really don't know anything. I also realized that Nashville is not the perfect town that it seemed 3 years ago.....

People always talk about New Years resolutions. What they want to have accomplished by the end of the year. I don't know if it's a way to track how we are doing in our lives, or if it's just another check list. I have in my backpack an issue of a wonderful magazine, who's name has escaped me at the moment, the magazine is all about lists. 

Real Simple!!! That's it, goodness if I'm this bad at 22..... anyway.

But it's about how to make lists to help you remember things, and it has different lists that you can copy, that sort of thing. Another thing that got me on this topic is that Susan and I went and saw "Marley and Me", which is an awesome movie; in there the girl has a list of what she wants done next in her life until she gets into her life then she realizes that what she has is better than anything that she could think of. 

The connection to me is that I had a list of what I thought I would have done in my life about a year or so ago. I hadn't met a guy, that was worth writing home about, so I just figured God didn't think it was my time yet. So, my way to deal with that was to plan out my life (I'm sure God was rolling His eyes at that, like I really know anything); anyway part of that was to get a career that would take up all of my time so I wouldn't realize I didn't have any body. I found a school that led to a job like that, and dreamt about that school for two years. I've always had something in the future that I was living for, because I wasn't ever happy with my current circumstances. Or I was being picked at so much that I was talked into thinking I couldn't be happy because of my weight. That didn't help the situation at all. Because my solution for being uncomfortable is to eat something. I'm on a tangent. 

This year my plans were shot, my list was torn up. God showed me that I don't know how to plan my life, because I don't know what is really going to happen in the future. Only He does. So, I moved to Nashville for 3 months then moved home (that is the short version). I also found a guy (well that was the year before, but he moved up here this year), we are serious and talking about marriage (only in future terms so don't start ring watching yet). The cool thing is that he seems to be what I prayed for, that doesn't mean it's easy but I feel like God will bless us. I just need to learn how to wait for God. Maybe make lists without it being my way of telling God what I'm going to be doing. 

My New Years resolution is different this year than it has been. My normal one is to lose weight; but through Celebrate Recovery I'm starting to realize that my weight is not the problem, rather it's the visible symptom of another problem(s). I'm not totally sure what that is yet, but I'm going to work on that. So, that is part of my resolution. To get to know myself better, and work on who I want to be instead of just staying busy and hoping I turn out alright. 

My other resolution is to live in the moment more. I have been living in the future for as long as I can remember. Always talking about what I'm going to do when I get done with where I am right now. I didn't realize that I was doing that. I don't want to miss out on my 20's. I want to travel some, and have fun. But I also want to get to know God. Because I don't want to be the driving force in my life, I can't see the road ahead so how can I do anything but crash? I don't really know what this all really means just yet, but I kinda feel like I'm coming out of a fog I didn't know I was in. Maybe this will be the beginning of a really awesome time in my life. I just have to keep giving God my fears, b/c I have a lot of them and they are the fog. Thank you God for this clarity. I give this to You, In Jesus Name Amen. 

Long time no write......

Wow this has been some crazy months. Since I last wrote I moved to Nashville, have my own apartment, and am currently working full time and going to school. That may tell you a little bit of why I haven't written. 

Some awesome things that have happened are that my boyfriend and I just celebrated the fact that we've been together one year!!! I never would have thought a year ago that I would be talking about being with someone at all, let alone a year. I am so blessed to be loved by him, he is such a wonderful kind and caring man. God really answered my prayers with him. 

For our anniversary he planned a whole day of activities, which is so cool that he spent all that time to plan that stuff. He woke me up with breakfast in be, pancakes and sausage (which he made by the way, he has never cooked before so I was very impressed). Then we just kinda hung out the rest of the morning, and then we went and saw that new Richard Gere and Diane Lane movie Nights in Rodanthe. It was soooo good and very romantic, he did very well. Then we went to Barnes & Noble, which to some people may not be very romantic but the fact that he knows that that's where I love to go and relax is very romantic to me. I love going there and hadn't been in a long time, and really needed it after the long week I had had. Then after that we went home and dressed up a bit and then he took me out to one of my favorite restaurants, O' Charley's. It was the perfect day, I loved every bit of it especially because I had a whole day with him, and that he had done a lot of work to plan it. I love him very very much, and am so thankful God answered my prayers. He was worth the wait. 

I am doing well in my classes so far, I actually should be studying right now instead of being on here but my laptop was calling my name. Well I'm going to go plan out some lunches for the week, I'm trying not to eat out as much or at all. Hope this finds you well.

Place of the month

I did forget for a while but I promise I will do it while I'm at work. After I finish some projects for instructors.

Catching up

I know I haven't posted in a while, but i've been really really busy. As of the 18th my boyfriend moved up here from Louisiana. He is applying at the Bowling Green police department; which is why he moved up here so quickly. He had been planning on moving up here for a while, but wanted to save up some money to be up here. We thought the hiring process was going to start in the fall so he had planned to come up sometime before it started. Well, a couple weeks ago he got a letter saying that the hiring process was going to start at the end of July. (The part that is actually in the fall is the interview process.)

So, it just happened that around the same time his mom, and aunt were driving to Michigan to see family. It worked out that he was able to pull all of his stuff into his car and drive the 12 hour drive from his house to mine.

It's now been two weeks since he got up here. He is staying with me and my parents (in the office), and is looking for a job. The first part of the application process is this Saturday, so we're hoping that it all goes well.

I'm getting adjusted to having him around all the time, and seeing all his guy-isms. It's going well though, I'm really enjoying getting to see him every day.



On another note, I'm finishing up my job as a tutor at WKU, my last day is next Thursday. I'm having mixed feelings about leaving, especially when I get to tutor someone who is really excited about learing something; that really reminds me of why I loved this job.

I'm trying to get ready for my move to Nashville, but I'm so tired that I can't really do much yet. So, I've been sending my resume out to several companies (20 to be exact) but haven't heard anything yet. I hate looking for a job, I don't like any part of it. I just wish someone would come up to me and hand me a great job. I know I can do it, and I know that I'm a good worker but I just hate the part of putting myself on a piece of paper for people to judge. It makes me uneasy. I picture myself laying on a table with, banker type old men, looking over me. I don't like the fact that they are judging whether or not I can do a job, by how well I can word my job duties. I'm not good at, or comfortable with, trying to make the fact that I filed papers sound like I was saving the world every day. It feels too close to lying for me. But I did it again, I redid my whole resume (and if you didn't know I've saved the world a few times too!); I also wrote the dreaded cover letter of doom and with these two magnificently written pieces of art I have yet to hear anything back from the companies. This is driving me crazy, I'm regretting my prayers for patience and wondering if they're being answered at this time.

What am I supposed to learn from this horribly hard summer?

I can't remember a time when so much hard things have happened so close together; without time for me to fully heal from them. But what is "fully healed"? I've started going to this thing that my has been going to since last October; called Celebrate Recovery. It's once of those places where you can just spill your guts and tell it all, and the people there will just be like "OK, I've done that too"; I've only been a couple times but so far I'm wishing I had given in a couple months ago (my mom's been asking me to go since November). I can see myself being able to move on with the help of this group; which is really nice because I haven't seen the light at the end of the tunnel all summer. HAHA I just realized something, maybe this is why I've gone through all of this! God was just trying to get me to a place where I would give in and see what can really come of a church group that actually seems to care about each other.

I feel alot better.

We had a scare last Friday. My dog, Albert, ran away right before this big storm came through. The hard thing was that I had made a quick run to Nashville, and got home about half an hour after he'd taken off. I searched for about an hour that night, and then quite a bit the next morning. Nothing came of our driving around. It was the worst feeling ever! My dog of 16 years was just gone. My parents just said that he had left to die. I couldn't believe that he would do that, it didn't match his personality. He's such a momma's boy that I couldn't imagine him going to do something like that by himself. Well we went on with our weekend, trying to come to terms with the fact that there was no more Albert, honestly I was numb (which seems to be my most recent way of dealing with big things, or not dealing with them). Come Monday morning I went to work and decided to call the humane society, so I get to work and give them a call; the lady informs me that they have an elderly schnauzer there that was brought in Saturday. So, I call my mom trying not to get excited, and she heads up there. It's Him!!!!!! Praise God!! I'm so thankful that he hasn't really taken off like they thought, he was just being his ornery self. I'm so glad that ordeal is over.

So, things are settled for now. I'm worn out from writing this much, but I feel good. I hope this finds you well.

Big News!!!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. But I've kinda been preoccupied with the fact that my boyfriend is moving up here next week. I will go into more details on Monday, seeing as I have nothing better to do at work. See you then!!

The Kitchen

So, I officially started packing yesterday. My mom went through all of her kitchen cupboards and pulled out all of my stuff, and old stuff of hers that she is giving to me. It filled up about half the kitchen table. It was kind of a weird feeling for me, with the splitting of the kitchen it kind of felt like what some people go through in a divorce; not that it was a bad situation but that we were going through stuff trying to figure out who bought what. Because I've bought several things through Pampered Chef parties, and other things. One funny thing was that my mom gave me an old liquid measuring cup, which through excessive use has lost all of the lines. So, the resourceful person that I am grabbed a permanent marker and drew them back on. It looks pretty cute, and kind of eclectic. I might even start a new line of country chic measuring utensils. What do you think? But, even through the big pile I'm kind of excited. I kept imagining myself in my little kitchen making something for a friend. It'll be neat to find my own style, and way of doing things once I have the room to do it in. I'm looking forward to getting it all set up, and kind of wish it would get here sooner.







Also, I got a new set of dishes thanks to my aunts who gave me a JCPenney's gift card. I went through them this weekend to make sure that none were broken and found that one of the dinner plates was broken in half. But, I called and they're shipping me a new one free of charge. The people were really nice, and for future reference if the invoice number is on the sticker on the box if there isn't any paperwork inside. Just wanna save you a call. Here are my new dishes!! Aren't they cute?!?!














And they will go with my Italian chef style kitchen. Taken from this painting by Jennifer Garant.